Sunday, August 18, 2013

Repticulus goes off with a bang! (Sorry I couldn't Resist)

I was going to blog about the so-called living dinosaurs in Africa, Really I was, but then I saw a comic book that just blew my mind. I just had to blog about it because really someone has to. This post is rated PG-13 and is unsuitable for little children even though it was originally written for children back in June 1962 and was approved by the Comics Code Authority!

Holy Cow where to begin...

Note how the ice Age was 50 MYA (Roll Eyes)

How about with some background...

Reptilicus is a giant monster film about an acid spitting dragon thawed out of the Ice Age permafrost. The original version, which was shot in Danish, was directed by Poul Bang and released in 1961. The American version was directed by Sidney W. Pink and was initially deemed virtually unreleasable and had to be extensively reworked by the film's   screenwriter, Ib Melchior, before being finally released in America in 1962. Pink was angry at the changes and wound up in a legal dispute with AIP.

Still from Reptilicus

In 1961, Charlton Comics produced a comic book based on the film that lasted two issues. Charlton then changed the dragon's color to red and renamed it Reptisaurus the Terrible.

A novelization of the film (Reptilicus by Dean Owen) was released in paperback at the time of its original release. Supposedly one of the complaints about the American version was that the movie novelization was pornographic. I never saw the novel but based on Charlton Comics Reptisaurus #5 I believe it...

Now remember this was originally written for little kids back in the 1960s.

 Reptisaurus: The Terrible, issue 5: "Reptisaurus and the 'People's' Dragon"

Cover of Reptisaurus  #5

We start off with out draconian hero finding a nice tropical island to vacation on. Warm weather, soft sandy beaches, plenty of whales to eat, everything a vacationing dragon could want.

Ah Paradise
Unfortunately the military decides to test a bomb on the island and blow it to smithereens. Reptisaurus is NOT happy.

There goes the neighborhood

Fighter jets have plenty of fiber

Once done chewing upon the offending planes our hero flies 600 miles east (at a speed of 1,500 knots) towards Asia. Once there Reptisaurus has a confrontation with the natives and ends up over a Chinese city. And there he sees a Chinese New Year Dragon float. 

Love at first sight

He thinks it's a female of his species and immediately prances forth to, well there’s no other way to say this, he mounts it. Just take a look...

Charlton Comics Give You More Indeed - Rock the Float!

The Chinese peasants seem to think this is the most hilarious thing they have ever seen. Then again it's not every day that you see the most sacred of spiritual and magical beast hump a mechanical dummy.

Unfortunately Mao and his henchmen are less amused and they shoot at Reptisaurus ruining the mood. But our hero keeps returning to give his float some lovin.

I feel so sorry for the guy in this float

So the Communist government decides to stop this flying pest in the most absurd way possible. They fill the empty float with TNT and nitroglycerin...

Communist TNT & Nitroglycerin

So when lover boy returns we get...


A furious Reptisaurus spends his wrath on Mao then retreats to grieve over his lost love in the forbidden Himalayas with only the yeti for company. So this post had something to do with cryptids after all.

Now I have read dozens of dragon slaying epics including one where the hero fed the dragon a sticky bun to glue it’s mouth shut and one where the hero had to kick the dragon in the ass to kill it because that was it's only vulnerable spot, but this is the only one I have ever seen that involved an explosive sex toy.

To get your own copy of Reptisaurus #5 (or any of the other Reptilicus/Reptisaurus comics just go to the links below...

The comics are free and in the public domain, but none are as insane as this one.

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