Thursday, November 15, 2012

Superman Hates Animals, Part 2

This is a continuation of the previous review of DC’s World’s Finest Comics, Volume 3. Previously in Superman Hates Animals, Part 1 we found that superman is not above mutilating elephants, killing Chinese dragons, and dragging European dragons through a hostile environment just so his best friend can punch them. Here I shall prove that Clark Kent  is also an irresponsible pet owner.

First Superman comes back to Earth only to discover that a small green creature that looks like a slow loris has hitched a ride in his cape.

Superman doesn’t have time for a pet so he tries to ditch the poor critter so someone else will have the responsibility.

Without Superman around to control it the little lemur turns super-size and goes on a rampage as it seeks its master.

Clark finally comes back where he gets a lecture on responsible pet ownership from Bruce Wayne. Not that Clark listens. Next he tries to ditch his pet in space only to get himself into a fix even Superman can’t handle.

Superman’s pet then proves himself to be a better pet than Lassie and gives his life for the inconsiderate Kryptonian who tried to abandon him.

I hope you feel like a jerk Superman!

Then in the very next issue (# 113, “Bat-Mite meets Mr. Mxyzptlk”) Superman, not content with killing his own strange little shoulder monster, decides to kill Batman’s!

Really Clark, what did that tiny little gremlin do to you? All it did was turn a huge bolder that you threw into the middle of Main Street into a Macy’s Thanksgiving Superman Balloon! It still did what you wanted, the balloon stopped the criminals from getting away in the giant robot, but did you then apprehend them? No you threaten a ten inch tall baby imp. Really look how much smaller Bat-Mite is compared to today!

 Bruce Wayne must of fed him after midnight!

When Batman tries to stop Clark from committing fatacide. Superman just grabs Batman and Robin by the arms and hauls them off like sacks of potatoes! So Superman is not above being cruel to his friends too if he doesn't get his way!

As it turns out Bat-mite is right and Batman easily catches the crooks Superman allowed to get away. After catching the crooks at the local botanical gardens The Dynamic Duo hear a scream for help and look over to find that Superman has wandered into the Xanth section of the park.

Unable to calm the people down does Superman create a barrier to keep people from entering the path leading to these fierce flowers? Of course not these plants are half animal and Superman hates animals!

Honestly it’s not like the flowers were going to chase anybody and now the botanical gardens are going to have to replace some priceless specimens!

Poor Bat-Mite gets the blame from Batman, who as a responsible pet owner gives his imp a lecture. But Bat-Mite is not to blame it was Superman’s imp that did it!

Bat-Mite’s not happy to take the blame and Superman's not brave enough to punch a fully grown imp.

So there you have it Clark Kent is an irresponsible pet owner that hates animals and likes to punch out baby faeries. To think he grew up on a farm. One wonders if Ma and Pa Kent occasionally found the cow on the moon when Clark was sent to milk it.

Copyright 2012 Laura ‘Tamara’ Henson except for the images which are property of DC Comics and used under the Fair Use act for review purposes. 

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