First Superman comes back to Earth only to discover that a small green creature that looks like a slow loris has hitched a ride in his cape.
Superman doesn’t have time for a pet so he tries to ditch
the poor critter so someone else will have the responsibility.
Without Superman around to control it the little lemur turns super-size and goes on a rampage as it seeks its master.
Clark finally comes back
where he gets a lecture on responsible pet ownership from Bruce Wayne. Not that
Clark listens. Next he tries to ditch his pet
in space only to get himself into a fix even Superman can’t handle.
Superman’s pet then proves himself to be a better pet than
Lassie and gives his life for the inconsiderate Kryptonian who tried to abandon
him.
I hope you feel like
a jerk Superman!
Then in the very next issue (# 113, “Bat-Mite meets Mr. Mxyzptlk”) Superman, not content with killing
his own strange little shoulder monster, decides to kill Batman’s!
Really Clark, what did that
tiny little gremlin do to you? All it did was turn a huge bolder that you threw
into the middle of Main Street
into a Macy’s Thanksgiving Superman Balloon! It still did what you wanted, the
balloon stopped the criminals from getting away in the giant robot, but did you
then apprehend them? No you threaten a ten inch tall baby imp. Really look how
much smaller Bat-Mite is compared to today!
Bruce Wayne must of fed him after midnight!
When Batman tries to stop Clark
from committing fatacide. Superman just grabs Batman and Robin by the arms and hauls them off like sacks
of potatoes! So Superman is not above being cruel to his friends too if he doesn't get his way!
As it turns out Bat-mite is right and Batman easily catches
the crooks Superman allowed to get away. After catching the crooks at the local
botanical gardens The Dynamic Duo hear a scream for help and look over to find
that Superman has wandered into the Xanth section of the park.
Unable to calm the people down does Superman create a
barrier to keep people from entering the path leading to these fierce flowers?
Of course not these plants are half animal and Superman hates animals!
Honestly it’s not like the flowers were going to chase
anybody and now the botanical gardens are going to have to replace some
priceless specimens!
Poor Bat-Mite gets the blame from Batman, who as a
responsible pet owner gives his imp a lecture. But Bat-Mite is not to blame it
was Superman’s imp that did it!
Bat-Mite’s not happy to take the blame and Superman's not brave enough to punch a fully grown imp.
So there you have it Clark Kent is an irresponsible pet owner
that hates animals and likes to punch out baby faeries. To think he grew up on
a farm. One wonders if Ma and Pa Kent occasionally found the cow on the moon
when Clark was sent to milk it.
Copyright 2012 Laura
‘Tamara’ Henson except for the images which are property of DC Comics and used
under the Fair Use act for review purposes.
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